Truth time. As much as I absolutely love meaningful relationships, I find it super difficult to make new friends. I don’t know whether it’s the introvert in me, my craving for bottom-of-the-ocean deep conversations, or the somewhat ridiculous story I tell myself that I’m 31 and well, haven’t people my age met all their friends by now?
On my path, I’ve found a lot of peace in self-acceptance but I’ve also learnt that all of my relationships - whether they’re lasting friendships or fleeting meetings are spiritual assignments for growth and I think the same can be said about our emotions too.
After nearly two decades of doing this inner work, navigating emotions (and being a guide for others) is sort of my superpower and that’s why this episode is devoted to making friends with your feelings.
We don’t always do this because it can be uncomfortable, but tuning in allows us to cultivate more peace and joy in our lives.
Our emotional waves, both the highs and the lows, are our biggest educators in life and full of beauty and insights. They connect us with our intuition, sensitivity and empathy.
But one of my pet peeves is that we’ve been conditioned to believe that there are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ emotions, so we often feel ashamed to admit when we’re feeling low.
I mean, how freeing would it feel the next time someone asked, “how are you?” to reply with “actually, I’m not so great today” instead of the usual, “I’m fine”?
Part of my purpose on this planet is to help the world recognise that we can be leaders and lighthouses and still feel the full spectrum of human emotions.
I certainly do.
Because even our ‘low moods’ bring gifts, like creativity, inspiration, growth, compassion, aha moments, an open heart or emotional intelligence.
So let’s talk about how we can make friends with our emotions...
1. Become aware of where your emotions are coming from.
If you're empathic and really feel the world, sometimes, you may just be mirroring and magnifying what’s going on around you. This might be the case if you feel something strongly, without knowing why. If your emotions are your own, you’ll want to carve out time and space to listen and get to know them, so that you can honour them and simply let them pass through, or get comfy with them staying a while and soak up the gifts they offer.
When you notice what emotions are present, there’s no need to get too attached, over-analyse or give them any meaning, as we often do. Just be a gentle, curious witness.
Side note - as a HSP who often picks up other people’s stuff, a mantra that I’ve been finding incredibly powerful lately is: “I am not my emotions”. It creates immediate relief, space to untangle my worth from my emotions and encouragement to empty out - whether that’s through time alone, a salt bath, nature, meditation or movement of some kind.
Your natural state is cool, calm and collected so by checking in with yourself, you can gauge when you’re in or out of alignment, just like you’d call or text a friend.
The more you do this, the easier it will be. Like everything else I share here, it’s a practice.
2. Get out of your head and into your (subtle) body.
And that’s the second step to making friends with your feelings. To get out of your head and tune into your (subtle) body.
One of the best ways to do this is through the breath and meditation.
Let’s practise together now with a short breathing meditation that will help you honour the ebb and flow of your emotions and attune with their wisdom.
Take a deep breath in and breathe out. Identify any area in your body where you may be holding onto discomfort. Gently breathe into that space in your body and exhale, release. Place your hand over the area of your body where you’re holding that tension and breathe deeply into that space. On the exhale, release. Breathe deeply into it and feel the stress in your body dissolving as you breathe out completely. Exhale and release. Softly breathe into that space in your body, allowing, accepting, nurturing that space within you. Breathing into the feelings in this moment. Being present with all that is. On the exhale, release all the tension, gripping, anxiety, stress. Keep breathing into those feelings and emotions, without any judgement or attack. If it helps, label the feeling, without trying to give it any meaning. Honour yourself here. Where you are today. Meet yourself there. Inhale and feel your feelings fully and completely, exhale and let them go. Breathe in and give yourself permission to feel. Be still and listen. What do your emotions want you to know? Breathe out, a sigh of relief, as you let them go or let them be. For the next minute, consciously breathe into your feelings and with every release, any stress, anxiety or tension melts away, bringing more ease to your body, clarity to your mind and softness to your heart. Take one more big breath in and as you breathe out, float your eyes open to the room.
If you want to sit a little longer, you can, but take your time as you emerge into your day.
I’ll close with some inspiration from Pema Chodron, so just let these words wash over you.
“When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality.”
Here's to making friends with our emotions.
Thanks so much for listening! If you’re ready to go deeper, I have a free mini yoga retreat waiting for you over at pranapatchouli.com/retreat. It’ll help you find emotional ease, fill up your cup and follow the whispers of your soul.
All you have to do is head over there now and enter your name and email for instant access.
I’ll be back next week with a brand new episode, so until then, from my heart to yours, Namaste.
